Murphy's Laws - General

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will...
McGillicuddy's Corollary: ...At the worst possible moment.
Revision of Murphy's Law According to Timespan: If anything can go wrong, it went wrong already. You just haven't been notified.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first to go wrong. We call this Murphy's Law of Priority.

If you perceive four ways in which things can possibly go wrong and take measures to prevent it, a fifth instance, unprepared for, will promptly develop. We call this Murphy's Law of Foresight.

Left to themselves, things will go from bad to worse. We call this Murphy's Law of Inertia.

The greater the value of an item, the greater the probability it will be damaged (eg: your best rug will be the one the cat will pick to throw up on). We call this Murphy's Law of Value.

The greater the value of an object, the greater the probability that it will fall in a place of difficult or impossible access (eg: your favorite earrings behind the washer). We call this Murphy's Law of Selective Gravity. Addendums to this law: when an object falls in a hard to reach spot, it will always be just milimeters away from your reach. And if it isn't, when you first reach for it, you will push it back that precise distance. Exception to the law: if you drop something in a bathroom, regardless of the bathroom's size, where you stand and what the object is, it will gravitate towards the bowl. We call this Murphy's Exception of Toilet Vacuum.

The greater your desire or need for an item, the greater the probability you won't find it anywhere for sale. Likewise, the less money you lack to buy it, the greater the probability it will be everywhere (eg: when you need just a couple of euros to make the price of a game, it'll be everywhere. As soon as you acquire them, however, the thing will simply vanish from the stores). We call this Murphy's Law of Supply and Demand.

The likeliness of doing something awesome is inversely proportional to how many onlookers you have. (eg: you can juggle like crazy in your bedroom, alone and at obscene hours of the night, but it never comes out right in front of your friends). Likewise, the chance of any stunt or deed backfiring and hurting you is proportional to how many onlookers you have (eg: the more people watching, the more likely you are to be hurt). As an addendum, how badly hurt you are is also proportional to how many people are watching you get hurt (eg: the more people, the more pain). We call this Murphy's Law of Observation.

The likeliness of you saying something stupid, dumb, inconsiderate or otherwise damaging to your reputation is directly proportional to how much you want to impress the people around you. In the same sense, the likeliness of this sentence being forgotten is proportional in reverse to how much you wish it was forgotten. We call this Murphy's Law of Memory.

Whatever you want, you can't have. Whatever you can have, you don't want. We call this Murphy's Law of Possession.

No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts. I.e., you may come to terms with being fucked, but nevertheless, you're still fucked. We call this Direct Consequence of Murphy's Law.

The amount of matter you have will be proportional to in how small a space it must be kept. (eg: no matter how big your house is, you always have too much junk to keep in there). We call this Murphy's Law of Area. Should you correct the aforementioned by throwing away some matter, matter will expand in time to go back to the original state (eg: if you toss all excess junk away, you will somehow acquire more junk that must be kept inside the house, therefore returning to the same situation). We call this Addendum of Expansive Crap.

The easier something seems in theory (be it manuals, formative classes, courses, instructions, tutorials or any other means of teaching you how to do it), the more complicated it will become in practice. We call this Murphy's Law of Education.

Regardless of the weather forecast or if there are or not clouds in the sky, the likeliness of rain is greater on the precise day you forgot your umbrella. We call this Murphy's Law of Weather.

If your action has a 50% chance of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time. We call this Murphy's Law of Probability.

The likeliness of any situation getting worse than it already is (or getting worse faster), is directly proportional to someone saying one of the sentences listed below. We call this The Summoning of Murphy's Gremlins.

• "What are the odds of (insert worse situation here) happening?" -Darkflare's Law
• "There's nothing else to go wrong."
• "I've been on a bad luck spree, so now good luck will come." (it has in fact been proved that if you are in a bad luck spree, you're likely to stay in it. We call this Murphy's Law of the Möebius Strip. As an addendum, it is also documented that if you think you're out of the bad luck spree, that just means Murphy has someone bigger than you to bother.)
  
• "It can't get worse." / "It can only get better."
  
• "What could possibly go wrong?"
• "It will get better from here on."
• "What's next?" (it has been documented that either if you suggest a worst possible outcome or not, things will get worse just the same. It has also been suggested that providing outcomes at this point usually causes for the outcome you predicted to be skipped in detriment of something even worse.)
  

Given time, one will develop a sense of how Murphy's Law will act. As soon as one is able to predict how it will act, the law will change ever so slightly to avoid the individual's expectations. We call this Murphy's Syndrome, and it causes the Direct Consequence listed above.

A final note: And in the eighth day, God said: OK Murphy, you take over!